Pants 0. Shit 1.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
