they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
