I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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