thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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