white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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