after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I look better un-naked...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
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My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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