I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
