I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
