i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
