In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My cat gives me a boner
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
