She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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