You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
