glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
