A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
