you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He? As in you personified your dick?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
