Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
