i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
