theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
