im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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