lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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