I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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