have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she smelled like a LAN party
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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