Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
