Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
