she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
