k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
