Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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