The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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