i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
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Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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