I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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