I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
