Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
