I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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