Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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