I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
