The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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