Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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