OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.