The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"