does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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