My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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