i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
