3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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