There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
