The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
