What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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