I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
