shes about as inviting as chlamydia
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
