Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Randomize
