If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have demons in me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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