You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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