better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
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youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
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I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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