I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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