they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
