NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize