the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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