Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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