He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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